Yet Another Face of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

(Posted by Eva, '12)

I read an article on 365gay today about Don't Ask Don't Tell (DADT) and the holidays.  The article discusses an aspect of DADT that isn't usually discussed: queer service members who have partners at home.  Not only are their partners unable to receive resources that the Army provides to opposite sex partners such as counseling and support groups, but also their communication with their partner is limited.  

The article describes one woman in the Navy who was unable to record a holiday message for her partner, even though all of her fellow comrades were.  She couldn't record one for fear of outing herself.  Another woman couldn't call her partner because calls off of Navy ships are monitored.  

While these situations arise all throughout the year, they become even more prevalent and even harder to deal with during the holidays.  Queer service members can't join in conversations about their significant others or if they do, they have to use gender-neutral pronouns or invent an opposite gender partner.  This makes it difficult for them to bond with other service members and create that camaraderie that some people ironically claim will be destroyed by having queer people serve openly in the military.  Just imagine trying to create a close bond with someone - close enough that you would trust them with you life - and not being able to mention the one person that means the most to you.