(Posted by Dominic, '11)
We all know that we live in a society whose scientific studies often base normalcy on the ability of a person to hold a heterosexual relationship- and we certainly question that criterion. However, there is another criterion I find equally as problematic, especially to my own lifestyle. The fact is, most scientific studies base “health”, “balance” and “normalcy” not only on heterosexuality, but also on the ability to remain in one heterosexual relationship.
We all know that we live in a society whose scientific studies often base normalcy on the ability of a person to hold a heterosexual relationship- and we certainly question that criterion. However, there is another criterion I find equally as problematic, especially to my own lifestyle. The fact is, most scientific studies base “health”, “balance” and “normalcy” not only on heterosexuality, but also on the ability to remain in one heterosexual relationship.I’m not bashing monogamy. Monogamy is certainly a baseline…for the monogamous. But what of those of us out here who identify as…*gasp*… nonmonogamous.
But wait- aren’t I talking about a lack of ability to commit? Promiscuity? Cheating?
No. And far from it. Nonmonogamous or polyamorous folks don’t operate under the guise of ‘anything goes’. In fact, those that I’ve met (myself included) operate under a sense of communication, openness, and honesty, above all. Bottom line.
To tell the truth, I’ve been wrestling with the idea of writing this post since my Developmental professor, in discussion the pros and cons of monogamy from a purely biological standpoint, referred to promiscuity and polyamory interchangeably. Even after I asked her about the possibility of a person being in multiple, committed partnerships.
I certainly don’t think she did it out of any malevolence, but her attitude reflects a general societal trend to marginalize those of us who don’t find ourselves in that particular baseline for normalcy, similar to particular attitudes about the “abnormality” of members of the LGBTQ community.
Should we accept that any or all of these identities are abnormal…or should we accept all of these identities…and move on? Personally, I feel that everyone should do what is right for them, be it who they love, how they love, or how many they love.
For more info about polyfolk, poly relationships, etc, take a look at these links:
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